It's more like the whisper of Kuta Beach!
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| I was told the sunset is exquisite, but the sky told me to come back again next time xx |
June 23, 2024
What am I exactly? Lost in the crowd and deep in contemplation—two of my favorite pastimes.
I’ve always found it odd when people say how much they love the beach. Honestly, I’m not sure if I like it, hate it, or... what? It’s hot, the saltwater is sticky, and—oh!—I really dislike the water in beachside toilets. I know, it’s random, but there it is.
Traveling to Bali has been an incredible experience! Knowing that I was the last in my family to visit made it even more exciting. The moment I arrived, the thought that struck me was, “Is this really part of Indonesia?” It felt so new, so different—as if I’d landed on a completely different piece of land. You know that feeling of being out of place in a familiar setting? No wonder so many people know Bali but not Indonesia. It’s strange.
When I told people I went to Bali for a yoga retreat, they looked at me as if to say, “Aren’t you going to the beach? Are you sure?”
Well, I’m not exactly a beach enthusiast. On my first visit last year, the only plan I made was to join a yoga class. Knowing it originated here, I felt I could learn the flow more authentically. But today, I’m bracing myself to visit Kuta Beach. My roommate swears by its breathtaking sunsets. What I love about nature is fully immersing in it, not just sightseeing—anything less would be a waste.
I grabbed a cup of café latte, a floss roll, and some ice cream—all my favorites. As I approached the beach, the first thing I noticed was, "Wow! So many people!"
It was scorching, but thankfully, I had my hat on. It didn’t matter much; I was here to experience it all.
Finding a spot to sit and contemplate wasn’t too hard, and I shouldn’t overlook its beauty. A few minutes later, clouds rolled in, offering some relief from the heat—just the way I like it. Looking straight ahead, I could see the fine line where the sky meets the sea. Subhanallah. How far does it stretch?
Being close to the airport, I watched planes taking off and landing. The breeze wasn’t strong, but the sea air was unmistakable—refreshing and invigorating.
As I dug my feet into the sand, I couldn’t help but smile at its unique texture. The beach was bustling with people, speaking in different languages. An Arabian family settled behind me—I could tell by their language and the father's t-shirt boldly proclaiming "SAUDI ARABIA."
It was heartwarming to see a small, joyful family playing together. The father was clearly the daughter’s favorite, stepping in when the mother tried to cut the fun short. It was adorable.
Nearby, an Indonesian mother was vigilantly watching her child, repeatedly shouting his name loud enough for the whole beach to hear. Her caution was full of affection.
What touched me the most was seeing a father and daughter playing beach volleyball. It reminded me of the times my father and I used to play sports together—those memories brought a tear to my eye. We haven’t played together since he fell ill years ago.
I closed my eyes, letting the wind, voices, and sand engulf me. The sun’s warmth was comforting. The waves were edging closer, and I wondered if I was looking forward to them reaching me. I had planned to stay for the sunset, but something told me I might not see it today.
Not everything was perfect, though. The beach vendors were a bit of a nuisance. I wouldn’t have minded if they approached politely, but one was particularly insistent in a most unpleasant way. I’ll spare you the details, but it was far from enjoyable.
I finished my floss roll and sipped my coffee, watching some ladies enjoy a massage. That looked heavenly. Ah! I should go have a Balinese massage before I bid farewell to wrap up and release all the tension I felt after the hustle and bustle of the days.
I’m always up for trying new things and watching people surf made me want to master it too. But time wasn’t on my side. I think I’ve realized why I’m ambivalent about the beach and other places. It’s not really my life. Traveling feels like a coping mechanism, an escape from the hectic whirlwind of my daily routine.
It’s all temporary. Now, I find myself thinking about how to own this life, to make it truly mine. I want to live slowly, to savor each moment without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.
I love teaching, but lately, I feel disconnected from it. Why is that? Am I not living up to my expectations, or is this simply not the life I envisioned?
What does it mean to live the life you want?
Am I losing myself, or have I never really found me? The thought is daunting. Am I pathetic for feeling this way? Why is my mind so tangled?
What makes it even more troubling is that I often tell my students to find their life goals, yet here I am, still searching. How does it work, really? Do we seek out our purpose, or do we create it ourselves?
Lost in these thoughts, I didn’t notice how late it had become. It was almost time to leave, and I began to accept that the sunset wouldn’t happen for me today. Not tomorrow either, as I’d likely be back to my origin. That’s okay—I prefer sunrises anyway. I snapped one last photo and bid farewell to Kuta Beach. Thank you for today’s reflections. Until we meet again!
PS: Just as I was writing this final line, I noticed a 1.5-year-old baby running eagerly towards the sea, only to tumble and cry. It was an endearing moment, a reminder of the learning process in everything we do.
This is truly goodbye, for now!
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